Thursday, August 23, 2012

"Bruno gets smitten by Maza"

Maza and Bruno are busy playing with each other and having a great time. Maza impressing Bruno with her skills and Bruno just watching her show off until she lets Bruno join in....

Maza noticed that Bruno's owner was calling him and Bruno ignored him, so she just pretended not to notice as she knew Bruno was fixated on her.

(Maza's Mama meets Bruno's Dad)

"Bruno! Come back here! I'm sorry about my dog. He has a mind of his own sometimes"

"No worries, my Maza can take care of herself. She usually does not like black dogs but she seems to like yours!"

"My name is Othello, what's yours?"

"My name is Latia. I don't think we've ever seen you two here before."

"We come here all the time, but different hours of the day. My work is kind of flexible"

"Oh? At least, you guys get to come here everyday. Hey look! Those two seem to really like each other. Maza likes other dogs but she is picky as with who, she will spend her afternoon with."

"Do you guys plan on staying for awhile?"

"Yes, I want Maza to enjoy herself today because I might be too busy to take her the next two days."

"Why, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I have a lot of work that needs to get done and sometimes Maza and I can't go to the park."

"Do you live far from here?"

"No, not at all. Do you?"

"Nope we live three minutes away. If you are too busy then maybe I can swing by and pick up Maza for a few hours so they can hang out, what do you think?"

"Hmm, it's a good idea but..."

"But what? I will give you my passport to hold on to!"  (laughing with Latia)

"I guess if you're willing to do that, how can I say no?...Okay, as long as it's not that much trouble Othello!"

"No trouble at all! I will even feed her for you!"  

(After about fifteen minutes of the two running and jumping in the water, both came out soaked and smelling like manure.)

"Maza, I am tired and thirsty, let's find Othello and your Mom.
I need some treats, how about you?"

"Water is what I need! Hey look... They are walking together,
correction, they are now sitting together!"

"Oh my God, I sure hope Othello will not want me to be super docile and act like a retard for your Mom!"

"Hell no! My Mom ain't no wimp, you get outta line with her and she will stick her fist down your throat! I've seen her do that with a dog that was irritating me!"

"Really? you're just kidding right?"

"No! go ahead and act like an ill behaved dog, go ahead!"

"Uhh.. No thanks! One crazy female is enough for me!"

"Let's go see what Mom is up to with your Dad... Mom is not gonna be happy with the way we smell!
Don't worry, I will take the heat for both of us. Mama will know that I was leading you anyways, so don't worry we won't get in trouble, just act well behaved! okay?"

"Okay Maza, but I don't want your mom to think I'm a bad dog!"

"She won't! Besides, I like you and she knows that already!"

"You really like mean it, you like me? Does that mean we can play together again?"

"Yes, silly Rottie! Now, we need to come up with a plan on how we can get them to take us here at the same time"

"That might be tough Maza!"

"Common... Too tough for us dogs to manipulate our owners? you gotta be kidding me! Get your acting skills on and follow my lead, I have a great idea! Now run after me then cuddle with me when we sit by them"

"Really? You want me to cuddle with you?"

"Yes, yes... cuddles only! and Don't screw up my plans here!"

"Okay Maza, whatever you say!"

(Maza and Bruno runs over to Othello and Latia where they are happily conversing on the bench.)

Thursday, August 16, 2012

"Maza gets friendly with Bruno"

(Maza running towards Bruno with her ball, with plans of getting acquainted 'Dog' style...)

"Hi, are you new here?"

"Uhh.. No, are you?"

"If I was new here, I would have said so, silly dog!"

"I'm not silly, I'm just shy"

"Well, Do you wanna play or what? If not I can just play on my own, I don't have all day!"

"Yeah, I wanna play. I told you, I'm just shy"

"Okay, cut the shy crap. We're dogs! I'm very choosy about approaching other dogs because of their owner's attitudes but your owner looks cool and so do you. However, before we get started, there are rules you better remember about me!"

"Rules? what kind of rules?"

"I don't like other dogs to sniff my ass and try to mate with me, understand?"

"But that's what we do!"

"Not with me, you don't! So if we have an agreement, then we can become really good friends."

"Okay, whatever you say. I like you. Am I allowed to speak my mind at all?"

"Yeah sure but don't get fresh with me, I'm a Boxer and I maybe sexy and pretty but I don't put up with shit!"

"Don't worry, I'm not that type of dog. I do think you smell really good though! I like your color and I love your eyes, is that okay for me to tell you?"

"Yeah, that's okay and thanks. I like your eyes and color too. Now let's play, I wanna see if you are as good as you look. Are you ready?... Chase me!"

"You asked for it, I'm coming for ya!"

"If you can catch up, I'll even let you wrestle me, Come on!"

"I'm coming, you had a head start on me!"
(Bruno's thoughts: Damn, she is fast and has the nicest ass, shit... I hope she didn't sense my thoughts, I better impress her with something... She's tough but so worth my efforts!)

(Maza's thoughts: Poor muscle head , regardless of what I just told him, he still thinks he has a chance! He better work on his stamina. I suppose I ought to give him a chance... I'll slow down a bit and let him run beside me, that way our owners have no choice but to talk to each other! I'm such a smart dog and I've got it all figured out!)

Monday, August 13, 2012

"Maza and Bruno finally meet"

Another day in a doggy dog world! I am not feeling too good today. It must have something to do with the weather. Mama is more than happy to take me to the park, as she is now getting my ball and goody bag together but I just feel like staying home and doing nothing!

What? No one can tell me that only humans can feel this way!
I am kind of feeling ... I am not sure exactly!

Oh well, part of being a dog is making my owner feel like she is doing me good, so I guess I will play along.
Off to the park we go... The other owners make me want to bite their asses. The stupid little poodle and her owner irritate the shit out of me, I guess I will have to ignore them like I do with most of the dummies that are at the park.

Here we are... Same old, same old shit! There's that dude that likes my Mama, such an irritating goof ball!
Oh, wait a minute... There is that cutie rottweiler! Oh my DOG! (GOD backwards!)
I am going to take my ball to him and see if he wants to play! He is cute and so strong looking!
I wonder if he's fixed or if he's able to hummana other dogs? I only wonder because I don't want him sniffing my ass! I will have to show him who's 'Boss' if he does that!
I guess I will take a chance and shit my pants, if I am wrong. He better play nice or else, his ass is grass!

His owner is also very good-looking for a human ass wipe, hmm...
I wonder if my Mama would like him? Mama needs a good man, she has had it rough with the divorce and all the bullshit Dad put her through!
It's worth a try! I  maybe a dog, but I know how to match make and play cupid.
For now, I will work on the cutie 'Rottie'.

Watch me work my magic with my great disposition and speed! This Rottie will have to show me he's got the balls to keep up with me!
Ooooh... He's looking at me with his tongue hanging out... JACKPOT!      

WOW, Othello really walks fast at times, especially when he's highly embarrassed! He's just about half way across the park by now. No problem, I can run like the wind. Catch him in two shakes without breaking a sweat...
Oh wait, what did I just spot over there? Looks like a really hot Boxer type. Female even, her scent grabbed my keen nasals while mid-stride, stopping me in my tracks! Hmmm, she's got nice lines, very fit and trim with beautiful colored tan and white stripes. My kind of lassie alright. Think I'll just sit here for a few minutes and case the scene, see what I can conjure up before I make my introduction to this sexy bitch.
Look at her composure, steady as a rock. She knows I'm checking her out, I can sense it. She's got my scent as well, I can see she's sniffing me from downwind. 
Can't help myself from drooling, she's a fine looking dog. Man I wouldn't mind getting a piece of her, but I gotta be cool with this one, looks like one of those bitches you do not want to mess with. Very poised and calculating from what I'm noticing.
Her owner looks great as well, for a human bitch anyway. Othello might find her sexy. I need to get him back here so we can go check these two out. Shit, he's still hauling ass and hasn't noticed I'm not right behind him. Let me run him down so I can get his attention, then maybe I can drag him back to these two bitches and see if we can hook up with them. 
Run Bruno, run! 

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

"Another day with Maza and Bruno"

"Maza, wake up! We are running late and we gotta go!" were the first words that came out of my Mama's mouth...

I am still sleepy and I don't wanna get off the bed! This being a dog thing is starting to piss me off just a little!

"We gotta do shopping for the cats and you Maza! And maybe after, we can go to the park!"

Okay, now she has my full attention!The park again? Kool!

I swear watching my owner multi-task is entertaining! She just goes to it like a Banshee outta hell!

She wears a Timer around her neck and constantly times everything! Talk about Obsessive/Compulsive behavior!

Wow! I wonder, what kind of human man will end up with her?

Oh Oh...Black cat Pepper is giving me the EYE again! I must do something to get him off my ass!

I will plan another strategy to get him in shit! I will do it, after the shopping, while we are at the park!

Oh my, this truck ride is a bit bumpy today! Thank God I am a dog and don't have to carry any of that shit Mama must carry up the stairs!

God Forbid that she ever finds out there are dogs who can actually do such things! 

I get so nervous when Mama meets a dog trainer! The Bitch might actually leak it out that I can be trained to carry bags up the stairs!

If that trainer does tell her? I will bite her ass so bad she'd wish she never laid eyes on me ever!   

It's all good right now that Mama tells me to go first up the stairs while she slaves away at carrying those huge bags of food for us pets!

Sometimes, I feel sorry for her... She is so hard-working only to come home to a mess that the cats and I made!

But what can she expect? 17 cats and a Boxer?

Was she out of her mind?

Yes, of course she was! Maybe not when she got me but them lazy ass furry things that she calls cats are all retarded!

One actually thinks he is a dog! Plays catch with Mama and she thinks it's cute! 

That's called Bullshit from a Cat's ass! 

Moka is no dog! How about that Snoopy cat who does tricks like giving mama a High 5! Loves to ride on a rocking chair and a pillow my Mama shakes and calls earthquake!

What a Bozo! His sister Isis who thinks she is a Princess! She wears sunglasses! What a goofie twit!

There are so many of them I could eat but one and that would have to be Gizzmo. He's a Cool Cat!

I still remember the day mama was cleaning the litter box and Gizzmo was on top of the lid of one of the boxes and I had this crazy thought of Humping him, so I did!

Gizzmo just let me! He kept looking at Mama with his Blue eyes and wimpy meow!  It was so funny doing him Dog style! 

Mama saw it and was shocked! All the while, all she could do was to wave the Poopie Scooper at me! Yelling out "Maza...Stop that!" 

It was too funny! She was in her robe looking like she belonged in a mental hospital!

Oh great! Finally, done the shopping so off to the Dog Park we go! 

I wonder who will be there today? I can't wait to see all the idiotic owners! The rest of the dogs are okay but I sure hate a few of them and their owners!

I wish I could just take a big bite out of their fat lazy asses! 

They all think they are doing us dogs a favor, more like they are doing themselves a favor by moving their lazy asses off the couch! 

Ooooh, hey, wait a second... Who was that cute Dog? Mama! Mama! Mama, you stupid bitch stop the damn truck, I wanna say hello to that dog! 

Grrrrrrrrr...she either ignored me or her hearing is now gone for shits!

Damnn... That was a cute Rottweiler! I wanna get a better look at him! 

Park the truck, you old Banshee! 

Please Mama! 

Watch me Mama, I am so excited, I am actually barking which I never do! 

Urgh, what's the use! She can't understand me anyway! 

I think today will be a grand day as there is a new kid in town! I will make sure NOT to pay attention to him! 

He probably thinks he is the RAMBO of dogs, watch his name be something like Rocky. 

I would shit myself to death if I guessed this one right! And it looks like I am about to find out as they are coming our way...    

Well that was a close call. Thank God for my fast thinking. I really didn't like that woman with her stupid looking poodle. What do people see in poodles anyway? They're so ugly, always having problems with their eyes and haircuts so ridiculous, they look as if they belong in some kind of circus act or something. Woof! Hideous dogs they are, would never even think of mating with their kind.
Othello was so upset at me, as he apologized emphatically to the woman for my rude behavior. All I could do was give him the dumbfounded look of a dog, and let out a grunt of discontent as I trotted off to the small lake to get a few sips of water. I looked back to my dismay, as I watched Othello make a fool of himself by trying to talk to the woman even after I violated her precious little poofy mutt. Surprisingly, she was more receptive than I thought she'd be. I must think of a way to get him away from her, as she was just as ridiculous looking as her dog.
I decided to go back over to them, as they were having a conversation by now. On my way over, I noticed a  piece of dog crap that was freshly squeezed from another mutt. I gently picked it up in my mouth and walked over to the lady my owner was talking to, and placed it onto her lap. 
"Bruno! What the hell are you doing? You crazy dog!" I just sat there as I watched Othello's face turn so red, you'ld think he just swallowed a  Bhut Jolokia, which is the hottest pepper on Earth. 
The woman now was just a bit perturbed, as she jumped off the bench and let out a yell of disgust. She then looked at Othello and told him "You're dog is a filthy beast, and you need to teach that bastard some manners, you fucking moron!"
That did the trick, as my owner now got a taste of the woman's short temper and finally decided she was a bit too tightly wrapped for him. He apologized once again and made off in a hasty retreat, motioning me to come along. 
I then looked up at the woman, then over to her ugly poodle and said good-bye with a departing gift of my very own...a silent but deadly fart that made the shit I put on her lap smell like roses in comparison.
Ah yes, I'm such a devious hound. Good times for sure. I love being a dog at times, especially times like this.
Got to catch up with Othello now, as he's scurrying across the landscape, trying to distance himself from this recent embarrassment. Let's see what I can stir up next...